The Shraddh meal: who is a worthy Brahmin, the right time for the meal (Kutup kaal) and the essential rules

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Who is a worthy Brahmin

Dr. Gyanendra Sharma gives the order laid down in the shastras —

1. One who knows the Self and is established in it — who sees the world as illusory and is content with whatever comes. This is the best.
2. If such a one is not found, a yogi.
3. If not, one who knows the Veda with its meaning — not one who has merely memorised the mantras.
4. If not even that, a Brahmin of a good family, in whose lineage there has been no great sinner or person of bad conduct.

The right time for the meal — Kutup kaal

The shastras divide the day — the time before noon belongs to the devatas, midday to the guest, and the afternoon Kutup kaal to the ancestors. It is considered to begin at about half past eleven and last until three in the afternoon.

Why not a Shraddh at 8 am

Many people say — I have to go to the office, we will serve the meal before 9. Dr. Sharma explains why this does not work:

When it is 12 noon for us, it is 4 am for the ancestors. Our 1 pm is their 5 am, our 3 pm is their 7–8 am.

By this reckoning, if you served the meal at 8–9 am, it was the ancestors’ midnight. A meal at that time does not reach the ancestors.

काललोपो न कर्तव्यः — the time set for a rite is the time it is done. One’s own convenience is not considered in this.

One Brahmin, one day, one meal

Worthy Brahmins are few, so invitations from four homes reach the same Brahmin — "come to us at 1, to them at 2."

This is not done. As soon as the invitation to a Shraddh is accepted, a discipline applies to that Brahmin —

• No second meal that day
• No travel — the day before and that day
• No carrying loads on the head
• Observing brahmacharya

And this discipline applies equally to the one performing the Shraddh.

Who cannot take the meal

• Two real brothers, or father and son — do not eat together at the same Shraddh. Only one will.
• Parivetta — a younger brother who married before his elder brother.
• Those who practise jyotish or medicine as a trade.

Whom to be sure to invite

The sister’s son, the son-in-law, the sister’s husband, the family guru and the family purohit — the restrictions above do not apply to them. They should certainly be included in the Shraddh.

The shastras name three pure things of Shraddh —

त्रीणि श्राद्धे पवित्राणि दौहित्रः कुतपस्तिलाः ।

Meaning — three things are pure in Shraddh: the daughter’s son, Kutup kaal, and sesame.

"Let us feed the whole village" — is that right?

Dr. Sharma says — even if one is wealthy, one should not expand the Shraddh too much. The reason: the Shraddh meal should be cooked only by people of one’s own gotra, the place should be pure, and the time correct. Family members simply cannot cook a meal for fifty people.

So — if one worthy person is found, one; if three, three. If there is one worthy person and the rest are unworthy, feed only the one.

If no worthy person is found

The alternative is a desi cow. The cow and the Brahmin are considered to be of one family — in one dwell the mantras, in the other the havi (oblation). Food given to a cow also reaches the ancestors.

Before the meal

Give the Brahmin a seat, wash his feet, have him do achaman — then the meal. Seating him straight down to eat makes the ancestors return disappointed. While washing the feet, the wife should be on the left.

To read about this subject in detail, see Dr. Gyanendra Sharma’s book Pitru-Karm Shraddh-Mimansa, and the complete guide to Pitru Paksha is here.

*Source — this article is based on a video discussion by Dr. Gyanendra Sharma (video link above, in Hindi). The tithi and muhurta of Shraddh change every year — decide them only after checking with your own panchang and family purohit.*

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